The Lions The Lions origins remain a mystery, with some legends saying the club was formed way back in the mists of time when Johnny Harrington was still a tee-total virgin. Others however, put the origins more recent than that and say it was formed in 1885 when the FBI’s most wanted, Les Robertson teamed up with Lord Henry to leave the all-conquering Wanderers and form a new club. Regardless of the official start date, The Lions is a club that gets under your skin and deep into your blood. Despite several attempts to leave and start a new, wholesome life, our resident fashionista Damo – think Gok Wan meets Walmart – keeps finding himself drawn back to his spiritual home. Even those that can’t (and shouldn’t try to) kick a ball find themselves drawn to the hallowed turf on a Saturday afternoon, as Demspey will confirm. The Lions are the most welcoming and diverse of football clubs, having been known to accept Lords, wife stealers, gingers, the vertically challenged, full-kit wankers, Scousers, Aussies, and even embracing the first openly homosexual player in the JIFL. We have always held the opinion that football is a universal language, as is “f*** you, you cheating c***” which is often directed by our captain, Dieter, at the officials.
It is also fair to say that although we would like to have our football do the talking for us, as that brand of football is often equivalent to Stoke on a rainy March evening, we instead have sought to cement our position as the number one social team. Win, lose or draw, you will find us in the pub (sometimes with a salad), where our friendly, welcoming banter is extended to all. We are proud to hold the records for: the biggest bar bill in EP, the most bottles of vodka consumed in an evening, the biggest circle-jerkle, and the most people ever gathered in an expat hang-out to sing the Proclaimers. For any who try to bring down the atmosphere we have our resident hard man on hand – ‘Don’t touch me’ Amos and the diminutive, Bilbo ‘Oli’ Soprano. We are always looking for the next Maradona or Pele, but failing that, if you can drink Extra Joss shots with Adam, hold up Cato after his 3rd beer, discuss the percentage of successful headed passes in the final 10 minutes of the game with James, and not be paranoid when Johnny is around your wife, then you are more than welcome to join the ranks of Jakarta’s most infamous football club. We are particularly on the look-out for anyone who works at the American Embassy, so that we can continue to be supplied with cheap import beers on match